Sidewalk Cafe Gig

Hi Kate, Natasha, Jake, 'Bert, and Jake and Bert's Dad. I see you all remained anonymous. I respect that.

Hello, Dennis Quaid. Can I call you Dennis? I will be just as happy to call you Dennis Quaid, or Mr. Quaid. It's a matter of how well we really know each other. Okay, this is a delicate subject. I noticed that you referred to me as Jen when you signed the guestbook. From that gesture, I am to assume that you know me well enough to call me by not only my first name, but by a shortened version of it. I am to assume that you know me that well because my blog has shown you my soul. I really admired your work in In Good Company. Mr. Quaid, I'm looking at your filmography on the imdb, and I hate to say this, but it's been a while since I've seen you in anything. I don't remember you in Traffic. I saw Wyatt Earp, but that was back in '94! If it means anything, I think you're better looking than Harrison Ford. I have to be honest with you, Mr. Quaid. The fact that you have signed my guestbook makes me feel really awkward and self-conscious. On the one hand, it's nice to have some publicity, and I hope you are really enjoying my tales of adventure. On the other hand, are you stalking me or something? I am only 27 years old. You are 24 years older than me. I have a boyfriend. I hope you can respect that. I do not want to discourage you from reading my writing, if you are reading it with an honest conscience. I just hope, Mr. Quaid, that you are as good-hearted a person as your character Dan Foreman. Thanks.

Hey you guys, I got another gig with those guys I played with on Tuesday! I should ask Portishead if I can play with them. Or Radiohead. Or Cheesehead, for that matter. The guy with the dredlocks is named Itamar. I think he goes by Etooch, though. Who knows. Here's a Flyer: (I really like the exclamation point after theremin.) !

I'll drink to that.

Eliza gave me a CD of Elaine Stritch at Liberty and I started listening to it on my way home from work yesterday. I meandered around the East Village for quite some time with Elaine, looking in Hardware Stores for this particular type of hook that allows you to hang things on a metal mesh grid should you happen to have one.

I didn't find the hooks. But I got caught . . .by musical theatre! Hang me on a metal mesh grid should you happen to have one.

When I arrived at my apartment, I had listened to almost all of the 2 CD set. I kept my headphones on while I took off my coat and fed the cats. When I finally sat down at my desk, I was WEEPING. It started when she did Ladies Who Lunch. I listened to it twice and decided (again) that Sondheim was a genius, and what a perfect song for Elaine -- my best friend Elaine Stritch who kindly accompanied me on my errands and with whom I spent a very emotional part of my evening!! What a perfect song for Elaine!

When I moved to New York, I had serious car stereo withdrawal for months until I got a pair of really huge headphones for my CD player. It makes music so much more intimate when you have your ears covered with headphones and you can walk around at liberty (HEY-OO!). Once, while walking across the Williamsburg Bridge, a piece of music became particularly inspiring, and I felt an onset of groove. I danced like crizayzee all the way across the bridge. I'll take huge headphones over the car stereo any day.

But, ELAINE STRITCH!!!!???? No, she didn't make me dance, that would have been the ultimate. But she really moved me. I listened to Ladies Who Lunch on repeat on my way to work this morning and teared up each time she sings, "And here's to the girls who just watch. . ."

So as soon as I took off my headphones, Katie called and wanted to come over and get some black and white photos I had of a Holy Bones rehearsal so that she could use them on the flyer for a gig we have March 17th at Pangaea.

Katie was on her way to Alphabet Lounge because Omri was doing a set. I invited myself. We drank Coronas and listened to a band that did a Chili Peppers Cover. I told Katie after 2 beers that I could play the drums and that I wanted to be a vocalist because "what a release." Omri showed up. The bands were all running behind, so Omri's booking guy told him to play as long as he wanted. Joking, Katie and I were like, "Hey! Awesome! We'll be right back with our instruments!"

Omri took me seriously and asked his partner with the dreds who's name was not one I'd ever heard before. He was like "whatever, yeah. . . what does a theremin sound like?"

And so guess who had an impromptu theremin gig in an smoky East Village bar playing what the trumpet player/guitarist with the dreds and my friend the keyboard player and lyricist described with skipping unimportance as "music you'd play with your friends when you're really stoned" all within not 2 hours of SOBBING with musical theatre icon Elaine Stritch!!?????

I was only supposed to play on several songs, but every time I looked over at Omri between the songs, he would smile and whisper, "we need you!" That was an extremely therapeutic thing to hear -- especially when you've invited yourself to a friend's gig, had like 3 Corona's and talked yourself on stage with the musicians. Before each song, dreds guy would cross the stage SO intensely and say whatever chords I was supposed to know, like "G# F," with MUCH importance and concern. I furrowed my brow for intensity and thanked graciously him every time.

I wore the glove.

It really felt wonderful! I surprised myself with how comfortable I've become with my theremin. I'm starting to feel as if I am developing my skillz and I really enjoy playing. Katie and Heather commented positively on my improvement, too. I think Heather said something along the lines of, "Wow!! Looks like playing 80's covers is really paying off!"

I play best when I'm grounded and I'm most grounded after I've wept.

So, thank you, Elaine.

Thank you, Elaine Stritch, Broadway Icon, for the opportunity to pull electronic music out of the smoky ether in a slow-core set with two stoned guys at a bar on Avenue C .

So here's to the girls on the go--
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch--
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise! *

*From Company by Stephen Sondheim

Guestbook

It occurred to me that maybe no one reads my blog.

That's fine!

That's hilarious!

It's really no problem. Especially because if you aren't reading it, you won't feel bad about not reading it when you read this post.

So, seriously, if you aren't reading this post, PLEASE don't feel bad about not reading it.

That would be like me feeling bad about never meeting you if we've never met and probably never will.

I'm not one to concern myself with worries that don't exist, you know?

Anyway. If you are reading this, could you do me a favor and leave me a comment on this post?

It'd be like a website guestbook.

Yeah, just go to the bottom there and click on "[#] Comments" and then click on "Post a Comment" and just check in! You can choose to remain anonymous, just let me know you, a reader, exist.

Thanks!!!

Scene Proposal for Laugh-In

A Grouch and Another Person in an office.

Another Person: I'm getting coffee. Would you like some?

Grouch: Don't do me any favors.

Another Person looks at the calendar above the coffee machine and notices that February 16th is Do a Grouch a Favor Day. Another Person pours two cups and brings one back to the Grouch at his/her desk.

Grouch: What the F-#@&! What did I say?!!

Another Person: smirking You said "Don't do me any favors."

Grouch: Yeah, so what's with the coffee, you PRICK?

Grouch pours hot coffee on Another Person's head.

An Office Worker walks by.

Office Worker: I'm getting some paper towels, would you like some?

Person: DON'T DO ME ANY FAVORS!!!!!

Office Worker: thinking What a grouch!

(Go-Go/Disco Dance interlude)

Stickerbook Website

STICKERBOOK WEBSITE!!!

Photos of Brighton Beach

There must be a way to get these photos to look clearer.

Ocean Avenue ends here. Here at the ocean. In case you were confused.

Boardwalk

CAPTION CONTEST!

The winner gets his or her caption under this photograph!

caption example:

"I have the little babies and children every day at my doorstep, wanting to play games with me, asking 'Where is princess??' What is this torture!! I have skin disease makes me look like fetid artichoke!! I say get "gone you pigs!!" They laugh harder because I am Russian man with Scottish accent!!! I can no more live!!! " -- Oleg Petrovich, 48, of Brighton Beach New York.

MTA Excursion: Brighton Beach

After work yesterday, I put on my headphones.

Now
I'm wakin' at the crack of dawn
to send a little money home
from here to the moon
is risin' like a discotheque
and now my bags are down and packed for traveling

Lookin' at happiness
keepin' my flavor fresh
nobody knows I guess
how far I'll go, I know . . .

I go through the secret underground tunnel and mall between my building and Rockefeller center to the train. I get a seat on the B train and settle in.

Glass and concrete and stone
That it's just, not a home.
And its glass and concrete and stone

It is just a house, not a home
And my head is fifty feet high
Let my body and soul be my guide*

Wow. This is cozy. I have to be at West 4th before 7pm. It's so comfortable on the train, though, and it's only 5:15. I get to West 4th at 5:34. What's the last stop on this train?

Brighton Beach it is!

Raise up - shake them lazy bones
Read the T-shirt but still don't understand
Comin' home with a little apocalypse
It comes, now do you have time for this?

A 3-tone carpet and a Jackie Chan spear
Lookin' at a hairdo and a belly full of beer
Well I ain't no poet, ain't got no rhyme
Well I got me a car and I don't know how to drive

The guy next to me is huge - fur-hooded Timberland Jacket - unaware that he's upsetting me by inching closer and closer.

In the event of a pressure loss
All our lines are busy now
I will be laughing out loud anyhow

The wormy man across from me leaves the train. I thought those bags - one full grocery sack and a large camera bag - belonged to him. They didn't? Did he forget them? Was he elderly? I don't remember what he looked like. Have those bags been sitting there all day? But more importantly, are those bags suspicious?

Ev'ryday, a little apocalypse
Lay down, lay down next to this
Lookin' at the body well I don't even know his name
Call me in this morning was a friend of mine

Well the wind so strong, it's blown us all around
Wind so strong, nobody settle down
Ev'ryday another apocalypse
Had a TV but I don't know how deep it is

Okay, I just spent all day trying not to be paranoid. That's the kind of thing that might just happen to me, though. Take the B train to Brighton Beach for no reason and that train is the one get's hit. Who would know I'm on this train? Spontaneity isn't very safe.

Please read the print advisory
Would you like to go ahead?
Dancin' wherever she goes - Tippytoes

Is the bomb inside the bag on a timer? Why would someone bomb a train that was leaving Manhattan? Okay, I'm safe. Unless the timer on the bomb is preset to go off an hour later, when the train goes back into the city. I just won't take this particular train back. I'll wait for the next B train or I'll take the Q. Forget my 7:00 appointment. What's really important here?

Rhetorical
Memorial
Invisible
Incredible
Unstoppable
Emotional
Illogical
Sensational

Little sister gotta take her medicine
Baby brother, gonna do it all again
Runnin' fast but cannot catch the bus
Funny feelin', this is part of us

There's totally just cake in that bag.

And you must take your medicine
Getting better everyday
Good for a limited time - Feelin' fine

We will return your things to you
When it's time for you to leave
So quiet nobody knows - Tippytoes*

Nevertheless, today, I confronted death.

In Brighton, I walk under the train tracks and find myself in a place I'm familiar with. There's an Italian restaurant at the end of the boardwalk in Coney Island. I'd been there twice before, to use the restroom. They always made me by a diet coke because if their "restrooms are for customers only" policy. That means that I'm close to the ocean!!

Picture this
Bumping lips
Everyone talks
Do a dialogue box

They shake and bake
Make a cranky face
They got rocks in the head
Got rocks in the bed

Pull the hood down
Grab the fold out
Is it too loud?
Is it all right?

Makin' contact
And you know that
Need a tight fit
To survive

I walk up the boardwalk. Someone has shovelled a path in the snow. It's really quite serene and pacifying. I thought it would be really creepy. It's dark outside. Who hangs out at night on the Coney Island Boardwalk in February?

Romeo
Said Juliette
Got a dialogue box
Hey look at me, that's my answer

All Sparkly white
Shiny bright
A genuine smile
The Renegade style

Gonna heat 'em up
And stir the pot
bake it a while
Then cool on the side

Tribulation
Revelation
Absolution
Prophesized

I'm a rich man,
I'm a poor man
But the main thing
I'm alive

A bunch of people hang out on the Coney Island Boardwalk in the winter. Because the sight is breathtaking.

There were two photographers there. Snow on sand is an interesting photograph.

Lost in Space
Cosmic haze
Beautiful wreck
Special effect

Clean and pure
Swift and sure
I'm ready to drop
In a dialogue box

Decoration
Innovation
My creation
Any size

If you try it
And you like it
You can have it customized

Gonna test ya
With a gesture
Do I feel ya?
Are ya scared?

In the darkness
In the details
At the movies
Or a play

Lovely.

I have to get back to West 4th. It's almost 6:30. I climb the stairs to the Q train.

Delightful evening.

All crinkled up
Delirious
Fall through the cracks
In a dialogue box

With a smiley bump
Gonna line 'em up
And the question I ask

Hey look at me
That's my answer*

*Songs I'm listening to are from the album "Grown Backwards" by David Byrne

Mandarin Electron

Oh, wow. Listen! Shut up.


This is really important to me, guys.

Paranoia

Stickerbook is covering Black Sabbath's Paranoid.
I'm playing drums.

Sometimes, when I feel most distant from friends, I assume that I have
done something terrible to warrant a "cut-off."

Like today, I felt pretty good at 9am. I haven't received a single
email all day, though! No word from anyone!!! It's nearly 5pm and
I'm going crazy!

My first thoughts: Oh my goodness, I did something, didn't I. I said
something to someone. Last night? Last weekend? What was it? Was I
drunk? I don't remember being that drunk! Did I hurt your feelings?
Did I hurt you? Did I inflict agony on someone! Crap!! You guys
have to tell me when I do that! I am so sorry! Will you ever be able
to forgive me?? Oh, wow. I should really just not say or do
anything. I don't want to mess everything up like I always do.

My next thoughts: Oh, my goodness. I am so selfish. Other people
have other things going on in their lives. They can't just talk to me
all the time. Jeez, how retarded of me. Of course. OF COURSE.
Relax. Use this time to work on Jen.

After those thoughts: What if something happened to everyone I know.
Was there an accident in another part of town that I haven't heard
about yet? Where is everyone! Oh, no. This is awful. I'm
devistated.

Then: Probably nothing happened, but what if it did? What if
something terrible happened to all my friends that I care about so
much! That is the most awful thing that could possibly happen!! That
would be just awful!! I would have to get out of here. I wouldn't
care! Forget about this temp job! Let 'em see me cry! I would
scream as I run out the door, "These are feelings, people!! Pray to
God nothing like this ever happens to you!!"

Next: I can't believe I think things like that. What an awful way to
live. I should really learn to use my imagination in a more positive
way. I should imagine that everyone who is not emailing me is
probably just getting an award, or working on their own masterpieces,
or dancing to loud music. I bet I can get more creative than that,
but it's gonna take time and practice.

From now on I promise to use my imagination for good and positivity
instead of using it to freak myself out.