Out like a Lamb

"Hey Jen. Since it's our last day at work, we're all going out for drinks at 5. We've invited [the other temp who's last day was Tuesday], too."

Okay, so what the hell. My last day is Friday.
I am so sick.

Before we left the office, I had come up with something to say in case anyone decided to speak directly to me.

"Hey Jen, did you order a drink?"
"No, I thought I just sit around and not say anything here just like at the office. Do you need anything copied?"

No one said anything to me directly. I know I was invited. They asked me twice and made sure I was coming!

We went to Divine Bar. It's a wine bar in midtown. I had a glass of red wine.

"Oh! This is very smooth!"

Why did I say that? What do I know about wine?

I repeated the same thoughts out loud and got a laugh from the two nice French people who speak to me.

They're nice, those two. I showed them my theremin. Yeah, I had it with me.

I brought this huge gig bag in to work today. I got past security with it. It looks like a mysterious package, if I've ever seen one. Still, no one said anything.

After the glass of wine, I started a conversation with one of the analysts who had resigned. He had always seemed like a kind fellow, though.

"How long do you have before your next job starts? " etc . . .

He replied and asked me the same question. I told him how it'll be nice to have some time off, blah blah blah . . . Then he became someone my parents know or someone from my high school who has been more successful at the age of 27.

"Temping can't be your long term goal . . ." A touch of the snob there.

"Right now I'm mostly playing music, so, who knows . . ."

(Nothing. No comment. No look of interest. NOTHING.)

Then the wine kicked in.

"Have you ever heard of an instrument called a theremin?"

I got the typical Atlanta Christmas Party answer and the conversation after followed a typical script.

(I'm from Atlanta, GA. Buckhead. Went to a prep school for 13 years. Raised United Methodist. Never allowed to listen to rock music or watch TV. First kiss at age 18. Mom, Dad, Me. Dog. Cat. That order. Healthy understanding of my upbringing. Sympathetic to anyone who may have not expanded. Expanded? Yeah. Expanded - Since the '50's. Makes sense to me. Anyway. The Christmas Party conversations always make me feel like a freakshow. Always make me feel doubted. Why doubt another human being? So unfair. Worst possible thing you can do. . .)

I always forget about this world of people. The condescending conservative world. The world where no one gives a crap about anyone who can not help them achieve conventional success or does not have similar experiences.

WHY the FUCK to people STRIVE to live similar lives and parallel stories?

So, in my efforts to spark anyone's interest with my creative prowess and spunky exciting endeavors, I found myself alone, in a puddle of either disdain or jealousy, and thank goodness it was time for band practice.

I run to FUNKADELIC Studios.

It's huge and loud and I found room 12. I guess we got a drummer. The drummer(Chris) is a hipster blonde dude with earplugs. Itomar (producer, guitar) is smoking. Omri(lead, acoustic guitar, keyboard) looks meek. Amek(bass) is late.

Band Cast Costume Description:

Chris: Caucasian. Shaggy blonde hair (dyed?) Faded yellow striped Izod, Jeans, Pumas, Black Plastic bracelets, Blue tinted thick-framed glasses, earplugs. Straight.
Itomar: Israeli(Olive skinned, dark complexion). Long nappy dark dreads. Wife-beater, jeans, combat boots, tattoos on his right arm: the face of an (American?) Indian and two designs, above and below it. Piercings? Straight.
Omri: Israeli (Olive skinned with light hair). Overgrown Mohawk. Neatly trimmed mustache. Green button-down shirt. Jeans, boots. Gay.
Amek: Israeli (Light skin, dark hair very Jewish) Tall as fuck. Curley hair with stuff in it to make it shiny. T-shirt, kakkis, dress shoes. Straight.
Jen: REALLY Caucasian. Long, dark blonde hair. Light green pants, cute little tank-top sweater, puma's. Blue ribbon. Silver jewelry. She's got that "just came from work in a conservative environment" look. Straight.

Okay, now let's play some rock and ROLL!

O-M-G it was so loud.

My ears were still ringing this morning.

Itomar and Amek really like to rock out. Chris is a really good drummer, and you can tell he didn't care. Between songs, he was scanning "Into the Woods" sheet music for a theatre gig he had to rehearse for later. Omri wrote all the songs that we are playing. He's shorter than everyone and really cool, but you can tell he doesn't want to sing hard-core ROCK AND ROLL.

I'm just distancing myself and laughing about the situation. Where the fuck am I and how did I get myself into this?

The fact that they all speak Hebrew all the time is totally not even an oddity anymore. I joked with Omri about it and he started translating for me, but only things that he thought were appropriate. I guess they talk about bitches and ho's most of the time.

We took a break. I sat outside our room in the hall, feeling sick and tired. A guy who works at FUNKADELIC walked by.

"Whassa matter? Get kicked outta the band?"

Dick-face.

We continued to rehearse. During the entire rehearsal, no one said ANYTHING to me about how I was playing! I guess I was perfect!

Oh, wait, no. They were too busy ROCKING OUT!!

After we seriously jammed out the last song for like, 25 hard-core minutes, I waited for the guitar to fade out.

"So, we're gonna wear our spandex sparkle outfits tomorrow?"

After rehearsal, the drummer went somewhere else, but the Hebrews and I hopped in a van to find something to eat.

I said out loud, "Wow! It's been a while since I've gotten in a car to find something to eat."

No one said anything. I mean, in English. No one said anything in English.

We listened to Pink Floyd in the van.

We went to the Thai Restaurant on 23rd street next to Malibu Diner, under the UCB offices.

Then, the Hebrews got HILARIOUS!

Omri: HAHA! I should get #V7. Gai See Mee.
Itomar: HA. Hey, Jen you should get # FR8.
(laughter)
Itomar: It's Mai Pric Koch! HAHAHAHA !
Jen : Omri should get #N4
Omri: Sai LONG SONG !!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

After the joking ceased, Itomar said that he thought the Pixies weren't cool.
Amek closed his eyes and started to pray.
Then they argued in Hebrew about it until some hot Thai chicks came in the restaurant. That's when Omri stopped translating.

After dinner, we went to the van, which was parked outside Gray's Papaya.

I am so glad Billy Merritt was in there eating a hot dog.
I waved at him until it was uncomfortable for both of us.
Then I got in the van with the Hebrews.