sweatin' with oldies

I don't like to fly. I usually take Amtrak. At Laguardia, first my cabbie took me to the Marine Air Terminal because he thought I was going on Delta Shuttle. I'm glad I don't fly back and forthe between NY and Boston or Washington, becuase the Marine Air Terminal does not seem like a REAL airport. (For some reason, my dad's hp pavillion ze4800 is opposed to the "return" key, so you will have to excuse the lack of paragraphs and expressive spacing in this post.) Anyway, I got to the REAL Delta terminal. They confiscated my little tiny cuticle scissors at security, of course. I shouldn't have brough 'em. My flight was taking off at gate three. I called Mat for comfort because I am a scared freakshow about air travel. Flying doesn't yet make sense to me scientifically. I haven't yet taken the time to really understand the physics and engineering of it all. Until then, I avoid boarding a plane at all costs. That's the way I function. Trains and cars are easy to understand. Planes will take some time and research. I feel like a 1920's skeptic, afraid to go up in one of those crazy flying machines. . .I walked up and down the terminal as I talked to Mat. "OH my GOOD LORD. I just passed Richard Simmons!" I exclaimed, "He SMILED RIGHT AT ME!!" Richard Simmons proceeds to totally WORK the CROWD!!! He takes photos with everyone, he autographs everything, he smiles incessantly!! Richard Simmons is AMAZING!!! He loves everyone!! He jokes around!! But most importantly, he is Richard Simmons ALL the TIME. That is his character! He's not one of those personalities that turns off! He asks some lady where she's going. She says, "Atlanta!!" He says, "What are you doing going there??? All those biscuits and gravy and all that fat!!!" He scans the room with his eagle eye for signs of unhealth. He hones-in on a man across the room with a candy bar. Code ORANGE!! He goes into stealth defense mode. No one will be influenced by this man's terrifying display. "WHAT ARE YOU EATING!!!!," screams Richard. "A candy bar. I was hungry!" "Put it down. Put down the candy bar. Please put it down." Richard Succeeds. Simmons for Homeland Security Advisor. I wasn't scared at all when I got on the plane, thanks to Richard Simmons.

Oh, now the "return" key works.

Look at that.

No, I'm not gonna edit this post. I have to go shopping for groceries. Tonight I will prove to Mat that I am not a terrible cook by making delicious pesto and pine nut veggie lasagne.

Dinner is at, like, 8pm. I have 8 hours.

God help me.