yeah, you included.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

LIRR Excursion: Mission Aborted!

Tuesday, I got on the train to explore [place in Long Island] and in Jamaica, the loudspeaker told me to get off for "connecting bus service to [place]."

Heeeeyaal, nah!

I ain't takin' no BUS to way out there. They ain' got no toilets on a BUS!
Last time I took a bus for more than 20 min, some meddler threw a rock at the bus (Peter Pan Line) from an overpass and had there not been a window there, the rock woulda killed me 'cause it hit the window RIGHT WHERE MY HEAD WAS LEANIN' ON IT!!
And besides, it's RAININ'!! An' I'm COLD!
The whole point is the FUN TRAIN RIDE!
I brought my knitting!
I was having such a good time until JAMAICA all snuggly in my window seat, knitting a scarf when the almighty voice of the LIRR come along and tell me to get my ass off for a connection.

THEN NEXT THING I KNOW THEY WANNA TRY AN' HAUL me on a BUS!!



Dammit.

I didn't "yes and" the MTA.

I wasn't listening to the MTA. I didn't support.

I was all:

ME: Shut up and listen to my idea, MTA, my idea is better. My idea is superior even though you presented me with the option of a less predictable and more complex scenario. I'm a PERSON. YOU are NOT.

MTA: I'm actually a Transportation AUTHORITY!

ME: Uuuahhhhgggghh. You're always right. You're always trying to move the scene forward!

MTA: I can't go backwards! I don't WANT to argue with you. I WANT to take you to [place] in an unconventional and probably more humor-provoking manner.

ME: I WANT to take the TRAIN to [place].

MTA: You're mean for not going with my idea.

ME: Edit.

MTA: Your loss.

ME: I'm gonna go to the gym and see I [Heart] Huckabees. ALONE!

(Then I'm all walking down the stairs to the . . .)

MTA: Hello there, little miss "no, because."

Then MTA smiled and I was pacified. Benevolent arms embraced my human form and I broke and flowed into the familiarity of it's humble reconcile.
MTA was all, "shhhhh. The buskers. Listen to the buskers. Now, take the E to 23rd street. Here's a map on my wall."

So giving, the MTA. So willing to take you anywhere you wanna go. So many accommodating friends in other cities around the world.

When I'm 100 years old, I'm gonna totally rock scenes like the MTA.

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