Skeleton Jokes

Sometimes at work I get to run errands. They call me a car service and everything! Last Friday, I was to go to Toys R Us and get a checkers set and a chess set.

This office is always playing games!

So, I'm outside of the building on Park Avenue and I don't see car 187. I wait next to the flag pole.

I have an envelope full of money in one hand and my bag in the other.

Enter an older (50's maybe?) dark-skinned man with a short, trimmed, graying afro. He is wearing all black - black pants and a turtleneck.

"Can I ask you a question? Do you do yoga or aerobics?" He has a thick accent. I can't identify it. I couldn't understand it at first, so I made him repeat the question.
"Have you ever been a dancer?"
"No." I don't want to talk to him. I'm on a mission from work. My car is not here.
"You mean you don't do aerobics? Nothing? Yoga?"
"I run when I have the time."
"You look like you could be a dancer. Very elegant body." He looks me up and down. It's not that creepy, because he seems gay, but whattya know?
"Thank you." Please go away.
"I have tickets to see Susan Stroman on June 11th at the Joyce. A dance piece."
"Oh." Where's that car!

"Okay, after I ask you a question you say, 'why?' okay?"
"Okay." What!!??!!
"Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?"
OH!! He's telling me jokes!! Okay!!
"I don't know, why did the - "
Turtleneck cuts me off with, "No. Just say, 'why?' "

"Why."
"Because he has no body."
ha.

"Here's another one. What did the Skeleton have for dinner?"
"I don't - " Crap I forgot.
"Just say 'Why?'"

That doesn't make sense.

Oh well.

"Why?"
"Spare Ribs."

ha. HA!

"May I ask what is your name?"
"Denise." First name that came to my mind.
"Oh, like Denise Richards!"
"Yeah! Denise Richards!!

"I have an extra ticket on June 11th to see Susan Stroman. Would you like to came with me?"
"Oh, sorry. I can't."
"You have a boyfriend."
"Yeah."
"What. He won the Lottery or something? To get a girl like you! He must feel like he won the lottery or something!!"
I just laughed and nodded. Maybe I said, "Thanks." I don't remember.
He said "Goodbye. Nice meeting you, " and walked away.
"You too!"

Then, the black Towncar in front of me put his "Car 187" sign in the window.

Another reason I need to learn to kick serious booty -- so that I can agree to go to some dance piece with a 50 - year old turtleneck with an accent if only for the story.

Stickerbook Press!

From The Gothamist:

CBGB’s hosts Random Acts, a night of improvised and sketch comedy on Wednesday night. Improv groups America! and Filibuster perform as well as our favorite all-girl cover band, Stickerbook. Composed of actresses, writers and comedians, Stickerbook is already a talented group. But on top of all that they have a theremin player and wear costumes. And honestly, you haven’t heard Aerosmith’s “What It Takes” if you haven’t heard it performed on a theremin. Random Acts – CBGB’s Gallery (313 Bowery @ Bleecker)Wednesday June 1 - 8:30 pm - $5


That's ME!! I'm the theremin player!! YAY!!